No to “You speak so well… for a deaf person” comments like these.
It’s also important to understand when you put pressure on reading lips and speaking well the person usually favors studying these methods of communication over sign.
Anything seen as more socially acceptable and ‘normal’ to a child will be favored by them, so hearing families treating speaking as some great achievement is a huge problem for deaf children trying to fit in.
I sign very poorly, but speak so well almost no one can tell I’m deaf. Worse, due to being able to communicate this way so well, when I was finally enrolled in an ASL class it was a language class directed at teaching hearing students ASL. My own ASL teacher often scolded me for my “disinterest” in the subject, one she taught with lectures and instructional videos.
I, a deaf student, failed an ASL class because my hearing teacher didn’t know how to teach a deaf person ASL.
I speak “well enough” that people forget i am still Deaf. and then they look away from me or mumble or cover their mouths and get frustrated because i can’t understand them. So even when I can speak, sometimes I prefer to sign or do the back-and-forth paper/phone thing because then they’re not going to put these irritating expectations onto me.
A note for followers to keep in mind. Personally, if anyone complements my voice being good for a deaf person, I will either display subtle or visible signs of irritation. I am aware that my voice is not like most persons but I have no need to be reminded; no one will likely assume about my self-consciousness of my voice and how often I tell myself to articulate, enunciate, speak louder, sound welcoming and form complete sentences each time I fuck up. Simply, don’t comment on my speech; I know it is throaty.
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Watching Myself Revert
Despite last night being pleasant, I felt empty for a while. I walked away from Lemonjello’s at one point to calm myself; did anyone notice where I went? I’m reverting into slums of self-hatred again. It’s best for me to wear a mask again.
The last song performed tonight at Lemonjello’s is “Hayford” by Secret Grief; I just witnessed the closing moments of the final concert hosted at Lemonjello’s; the café will no longer operate as a music venue.
Tonight marks the final musical event at Lemonjello’s.